Image: Paramount

When you see Carol Brady's face pop up in the opening credits, you pretty much know what's in store. Sure, the show is formulaic. But that's what makes it so popular. Here are 31 things you can bet will happen on every episode of The Brady Bunch. 

1. The length of Carol’s hair in the theme song indicates what season it is. (The longer the mullet, the later the year.)

2. Alice only appears in the last two seconds of the opening credits, even though she’s the show’s real M.V.P.

3. The scene opens to either a shot of the Brady’s house or a shot of the backyard landscaped with AstroTurf.

4. The boys are playing basketball. 

5. Carol is doing housework, even though they hired Alice.

6. Marcia has a superficial problem and needs everyone’s advice to help fix it.

7. Greg is worried about something relating to school, girls or his overall popularity.

8. Marcia and Greg get into a fight, usually about who can do something better.

9. Marcia and Greg try to settle the fight by creating a competition.

10. Alice spends the entire day making a five-course meal. 

11. Alice wears the same uniform, even though she’s really close with the family.

12. Carol and Alice have witty banter in the kitchen.

13. The banter results in Alice cracking a joke and making a funny face.

14. One scene always takes place in Mike’s office, and you feel like the kids shouldn’t be there. 

15. Jan gets her feelings hurt.

16. Jan creates a half-baked plan to feel better, but it ends up making her feel worse.

17. Peter gets on Greg’s nerves.

18. Peter gets on Jan’s nerves.

19. Peter ends up getting on everyone’s nerves.

20. Cindy has her nose in everyone’s business. 

21. Peter jokes about being too short, too young, etc.

22. There’s a fight about the bathroom.

23. You wonder why Mike hasn’t added a second bathroom since he’s an architect.

24. Alice helps prepare one of the kids for an audition. 

25. Carol and Mike read magazines on the couch.

26. Carol and Mike read magazines in bed.

27. The kids come to Mike and Carol with an issue, usually while they’re reading magazines.

28. Carol and Mike take turns solving the problem through their amazing advice.

29. Mike always has the last word.

30. Every problem is magically resolved by the time the ending credits role. 

31. The segment after the last commercial break is always worth the wait.