17 vintage back to school ads you would never see today
Gas up the boxy yellow buses. Stock up on sandwich bags. Sharpen those pencils. It's that time of year again.
Going back to school had been a ritual for American children since… well since America began. No matter what the era, kids feel the same blend of butterflies, dread, and giddiness in their stomachs when August rolls around. The only things that changed are the clothing and the technology. Well, and the food. Oh, and transportation. And don't forget the music.
Okay, pretty much everything has changed about going back to school since the 1950s, '60s, '70s, '80s, and '90s. They don't even have chalk in the classrooms anymore. Need proof? Look to the back-to-school advertisements of the past. They show a remarkably different era.
We searched through the magazines and circulars of yesteryear for some amusing ads you would not see today, for whatever reason. Do you remember these things?
1. Dressing just like dear ol' dad
The family that wears red down jackets together, stays together. Just as Tonight Show announcer Hugh Downs.
2. Shined shoes
Hopefully, at school, your children learned the difference between Shinola and… well, you know.
3. That Pat Boone look
Heck, it's hard to find a doctor or lawyer that dresses this sharp in the city today. Businesses have gone casual. Students? They basically wear pajamas to class.
4. The benefits of sugar
Nothing gives you pep for doing the Twist-like sugar. Yes, Sugar™ brand sugar. It's sugar!
5. Diet pills
Talk about mixed messages. First, you want us to eat sugar, now we have to be "in" with the "Slim Set."
6. Donny and David on your folders
Image: Mead / bladecreativebranding
It was hard to focus on the chalkboard with those dreamy eyes staring up at you from your desk.
7. Children dressed like tiny adults
Image: Wards / Classic Film via Flickr
Aren't striped bell-bottoms the cutest? No. The boy on the left is not having it.
8. Bowties and bicycles
Image: AMF / bladecreativebranding
Riding your bike to school was much safer when it was a Roadmaster that weighed approximately as much as an AMC Rambler.
9. Percale and transistors
Plaid dresses made of percale were in fashion, and tiny radios were perfect for sneaking listens of the Beach Boys.
10. Zayre boasting about its air conditioning
The Zayre chain of discount stores went out of business in 1990. In this 1960 ad, it was boasting about having "Fresh Air Conditioned" stores. You just try to try on polyester when you're sweaty.
11. "Campus queens" taking the Greyhound to campus
Image: Greyhound / grayflannelsuit
Greyhound is still around, and certainly, some kids take the buses to college. But this ad makes the ride feel luxurious.
12. This swingin' fountain pen party
If you won this contest, you could throw a party costing up to $1,000 — about $8,000 in today's cash. That's a ton of punch.
13. Dorm rooms this stylish, sharp and spacious
Most young adults out of college would love to have an apartment this decorated and hip.
14. Jazz on the turntables
Image: Scheaffer's / grayflannetsuit
Probably not much Duke Ellington and Ray Coniff wafting out of the dorm windows these days.
15. Floppy disks and stiff kicks
Image: EastbayIn 1990, we were pumping air into our sneakers and disks into drives.
16. Neon flamingos
Image: Lisa FrankThe 1980s called — they want their everything back.
17. The B.M.O.C. blowing smoke
Cigarettes ads on campus? That's a no-no today.